Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Kids in Transition

Yesterday J was having a rough day. He ended up spending most of the day in his bedroom. He did tell me that he fell asleep on the floor. Maybe that was part of his reason for a rough day. He started out better this morning. Then there was another squabble between the siblings and I realized I needed to do something before we repeated yesterday. Running to his room today was not going to be the answer. I had been praying all morning for wisdom and strength. I did the old standby trick that moms use sit in a chair and look at your sibling. After sitting for some time, I asked him to say something he liked about his sister. The first thing he said was nice with a bit of a twist but we kept going. She said something nice and we went back and forth with me adding some positive things in there as well.

Somehow that lead to a bit part of the issue yesterday and today -- missing friends and family. He sat and cried which I assured him was okay. He misses his best friend with his three brothers where he would often spend a Sunday afternoon. They were on the same soccer team for three years. He misses his friends that he would hang out with during small group. He missed his friend from our first co-op and also goes to our church. He missed his friend that he would visit on Sunday. He misses going to the Rock with other homeschoolers from church. God has blessed him with many friends there in the four years that we lived there. He misses going to Grandpa and Grandma's house and spending time with cousins. He misses his aunts and uncles. He cried has he doesn't feel like he has friends here. Moving is hard. Transition is difficult.

As parents, we made the decision to "Go ye into all the world. . ." J is excited but the reality is it is hard and at times lonely. It is hard to watch a child hurt and grieve.

I learned that sometimes one behavior might be hiding another feeling. The squabble was wrong and needed to be dealt with but we also needed to find what was deeper and needed to dealt with. In this case he just needed to talk about it.

I needed to be willing to put things aside and listen and even pull it out of him. I know it was worth it because at least twice today he told me "thank you."

In the hard times there are joys. Listening to the two of them tell things they liked about the other was encouraging. J liked the way Miss K dances. Miss K said J likes to ride his bike and fly a kite. I know that they love each other.

I am thankful that I was there and was sensitive to listen to him today. I am praying that he feel free to share. It has also opened the opportunity for us to talk about this some more.

So when you pray for missionaries, pray for their children. Pray that in all the transitions in their lives they will be comforted.

We do have some things in place for the fall if we are here -- a co-op and a swim team for homeschoolers (how exciting is that).

Beth, who was going to write about siblings but this came out instead, praying that it will bless you.
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1 comment:

  1. We are moving in 3 weeks and I know the transition will be very hard for my oldest for all the reasons your son is suffering. Thanks for the reminder to really listen to where their pain is coming from as i suspect to have many days like you have had. Praying your son finds his place and makes new friends soon.



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